Use Your Head - Soda’s Punishment
by PadaleckiGrease
Summary: Set in between Chapter 17 and 18 of Use Your Head - Sodapop gets his spanking for breaking curfew and drinking too much. I suppose it can be read alone, but you’re going to be pretty lost if you haven’t read Use Your Head. Contains spanking of a minor from a parental figure.


Darry barely had fifteen minutes to rest before he heard Sodapop coughing in his room. Ponyboy was still fast asleep with his head still resting in Darry's lap, breathing noisily out of his mouth.

He noted that he should probably stop spoiling Pony so much; the kid could hardly fall asleep on his own anymore without some form of coddling. Darry knew he was getting too dependent, but he couldn't help it. His youngest brother had been so emotional and tactile since he got jumped, and it was hard to say no. For the most part, he was just glad he felt close enough to him to fall asleep in his lap.

Unfortunately, he had to leave his sick, sleeping brother to go deal with his hungover, disobedient one in the bedroom.

Sodapop had both missed his curfew by over an hour and drank too much, both of which are crimes he'd received multiple warnings for in the past. Darry had been avoiding giving him a spanking like the plague, hoping all of the lectures he gave him would be enough to make him behave. Unfortunately, it was to the point Soda simply wasn't trying anymore, especially when it came to curfew. He couldn't have that. Not only would Soda's bad behavior just continue to escalate, but it set a bad precedent for Ponyboy, who was very impressionable.

A good hiding would set him back on track, Darry was sure of it. He just really didn't want to do it. In some ways, it was harder with Sodapop. Although he was almost always more compliant, it was also harder to watch him break down.

It's not that he didn't mind watching Ponyboy bawl his eyes out, because that definitely hurt his heart and it always would. He was just more used to it with him; Pony was always a bit of a crybaby. Sodapop never was.

He was always cheerful with tough skin, very rarely letting anything upset him at all - especially not to the point of tears. He tried to be tough when Darry spanked him, but he was usually teary eyed by the time he made it over his knee. Partly because he knew Darry's spankings hurt quite a bit, and partly because he knew he'd upset his big brother. Just like Ponyboy, he was heartbroken when he knew that Darry was disappointed in him. Darry knew that meant he was doing his job correctly.

Knowing he needed to get Soda dealt with before Ponyboy woke up, he made quick work of sliding out from under him. Pony was dead to the world, just readjusting himself a little bit before settling again. If he woke up, his reaction to hearing his brother's punishment would probably end up in him throwing a temper tantrum and/or earning himself a whooping.

Darry stopped in the kitchen to get Soda a cup of water, and then in the bathroom to grab a couple of Tylenol for the headache he undoubtedly had. He hoped he got through all of the vomiting earlier.

Soda was sitting on the bed, hair sticking up every which way and holding his head in his hands when Darry stepped in. He was frowning when he looked up at Darry, but his look brightened when he saw the glass of water in his hands. With a sigh of relief, Soda reached out started to make grabby hands towards the glass.

Darry chuckled but obligingly handed it over. "Take these, too," he said quietly, holding out the Tylenol as well, "I'm sure your heads killin' you."

Soda made a sound of agreement, but was too busy throwing the pills back and killing the glass of water to speak.

"It's not as bad as earlier," he responded quietly as he set his water down on the nightstand. He wouldn't look up at Darry.

"Do you still feel sick?" Darry asked, hoping he'd got it all out of his system when he was awake a few hours ago. He was dry-heaving by the time he was done, so there was probably nothing left to throw up.

He shook his head, using one hand to scrub at his eyes, "Not really," he mumbled, "Sorry I woke you up so early."

He was quiet and resigned, and Darry knew it was because he had a spanking coming. Since their parents passed, Darry only had to spank Soda a handful of times. Both times, he was really well behaved. He pretty much did as he was asked when he was asked without any argument and for the most part he kept still. However, he still tended to pout the whole time. Him and Pony were just alike when it came to that one.

"Don't apologize for that, kid. It's what I'm here for," Darry told him, leaning against the cluttered desk, "And I'll make you a big, greasy breakfast later to help you feel better. But we're gonna talk first."

Soda sighed, face falling further even as he nodded. He squirmed a little in his place before asking, "Can I take a shower first? It'll be real quick. Just feel gross from last night."

Darry sighed, knowing they were on a time limit. Ponyboy wouldn't sleep long, "Make it real quick, Sodapop. I don't want your brother waking up."

Soda nodded, forcing himself to stand, "He's still asleep?"

"He was up for a little bit earlier but he fell back asleep on the couch," Darry explained, stopping Soda from digging through his drawers, "I'll get you some clothes and a towel. Go on."

Soda mumbled his assent before disappearing out of the room. He clearly wasn't too happy, but he was still being compliant. Darry was thankful. At least with Sodapop it wasn't a constant fight.

Darry hurriedly gathered a shirt, some boxers, sweats, and a towel. He kind of thought getting him the sweats was pointless, considering they would be coming right off, but he figured the kid deserved a little modesty.

He dropped it off in the bathroom where Soda was already standing under the water with a quiet reminder to hurry up before shutting the door. He stopped in the living room to check on his youngest brother, who was still dead to the world.

Darry just sat and watched him for a moment, taking in how peaceful and innocent he looked in his sleep. Darry liked to believe his baby brother was still just an innocent kid, even though he knew better. Innocent or not, though, he still had a naturally good aura. He was a huge sweetheart, even when he was being hellish, and sensitive as hell without really trying to hide it. Darry liked that in him - it was a rarity in boys in their situation.

Ponyboy drove him absolutely bonkers probably over half of the time, but he wouldn't change him. Dealing with Pony, Darry didn't have a choice but to be emotional sometimes. For awhile, he was cold with a hard exterior, but Ponyboy forced him to show his softer side. He was thankful, because he was a lot more miserable when he was always mad at the world.

Pony didn't respond too well to yelling and passive aggression, but he did respond well to a heart to heart and a hug. It took Darry awhile to swallow his pride and accept that, but once he did things ran a whole lot smoother. And they got a whole lot closer.

Sodapop had the same aura. Darry wouldn't put him in the innocent category solely because of his grin; That shit-eating grin of his told it all. However, Soda genuinely always meant well. He loved everybody and wanted to help in any way he possibly could. It was his best quality and his worst at the same time.

Pony was a little more self centered - he did think of other people's needs, but it was usually after he had already thrown whoever under the bus to help himself. He always felt guilty afterwards, but he didn't think shit through. Sodapop always did, almost never allowing himself to make a decision in anger.

Darry didn't have to be as gentle with Sodapop, but he was sensitive, too. He handled it in a different way then Pony, who tended to just cry and want to cuddle for a while in response to any hurt feelings. Darry could grin at Soda and pat his shoulder and it would immediately fix whatever was wrong in the blink of an eye. They were different people and Darry often had to remind himself that they needed to be handled differently as well.

Darry snapped out of his daze when he heard the shower cut off. With a sigh and a quick prayer that Ponyboy wouldn't wake up, he headed back down the hallway. Stopping in his bedroom, he grabbed their mother's hairbrush.

Darry hated himself - Sodapop absolutely despised the hairbrush and now Darry was about to use it on him. It had been a while since Soda had an experience with the thing, but Darry was sure Soda would be miserable by the time he finished with him. He had a feeling he wasn't gonna be as easy to cheer up this time around.

As much as he didn't want to do it, Darry intended for it to be a very effective spanking. It wasn't the first time he'd addressed Soda for drinking too much and coming in late. Honestly, it wasn't even the tenth. He'd repeatedly been warned that if he kept it up, he was going to get more than a talking to. He never stopped doing what he was doing, so he had to be punished or it would only get worse.

Unlike Ponyboy, one harsh spanking would do Soda good for at least a few months. Darry figured he wouldn't be doing anything that was considered a spankable offense for a while. Pony, on the other hand, could get his butt spanked raw and act up twenty minutes later like it didn't happen (although, he usually wouldn't do whatever he got spanked for again for a while. Usually.) Sometimes, Darry couldn't help but wonder if he was wasting his time with him.

After a minute or two, Soda stepped out of the bathroom. Darry had sat down on the bed, preparing himself for what he had to do.

The bathroom door opened, but Darry didn't hear any movement. It didn't take him long to realize Soda was stalling.

"Come on, Soda. Let's get this over with," he called gently, trying to be encouraging. He didn't want to be harsh; he knew Soda was scared and was trying to build up the courage to come face the music. They just really didn't have time for that.

He sighed, but obediently stepped out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. He was chewing on his bottom lip and you could practically smell the anxiety on him. It had been a while since he'd felt the hairbrush, but he still remember how badly it hurt.

Soda threw his clothes into the hamper before turning around to face Darry. When he didn't make a move to come towards him, Darry pointed at a spot a couple feet ahead of him, "Front and center, kiddo."

He let out a shaky sigh before puffing his chest up a little and doing as he was told. Darry fought off a smile at Soda's attempt at bravery. Poor kid was obviously petrified.

"Y'know why we're here, don't you?" Darry asked once Soda was in front of him.

"Yes, Dar," Soda whispered, staring down at his feet, "Sorry."

"I really wish you wouldn't have made me do this, kid," Darry said sadly, reaching forward to tug Soda's sweats down, "But last night was the final straw. You've had too many chances, and I'm done bein' nice."

"It was an accident," was all Soda responded with, still whispering. He was teary eyed and wringing his hands together, but docilely allowed Darry to pull his pants down.

Darry huffed a laugh, "What did I tell you about that last night, Sodapop?"

All that got out of him was shrug, his eyes darting around the room.

"You don't know?" Darry asked skeptically, helping Soda step out of his pants.

"Don't remember, Dar," he mumbled in the same tone he'd been using, watching Darry fold his sweats and set them up by his pillows. "'m sorry. It was late."

Darry knew he was telling the truth, so he explained again, "It was an accident the first time, Sodapop. After that, you just didn't care. You thought I wouldn't do anything but talk to you about it, and that it would be worth it."

"I didn't..." he started quietly, a tear falling off of his face and onto the ground, "That's not true, Dar. It's not."

"Then what's true, Sodapop?" Darry pushed sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. Just from the few tears he'd shed, Darry was already having trouble keeping up the stern act. He knew he had to, and he knew he didn't need to be as gentle with him as he was with their brother. It was still hard.

"I dunno," he whimpered, wringing his hands harder. When Darry reached out and made him stop, he whimpered.

"You don't know?" Darry asked him, schooling his features, "You better come up with a damn good reason real quick, kid."

Sodapop gave a shaky sigh before admitting, "I don't got one, Dar."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Darry grumbled before grabbing Soda by the wrist and pulling him over his lap. He whimpered, but didn't put up a fight, "So, we're gonna see if it's worth it to ignore me after this."

Soda just sniffled, using one hand to hold on to Darry's ankle and the other to support himself. Darry allowed him the small comfort, knowing it was normal. Pony's small comfort tended to be snaking a hand back to hold onto Darry's shirt or to try and get him to hold his hand.

His dad wouldn't have let them do that, never offering any comfort until it was over (and even then, he didn't offer a lot). It didn't bother him a lot when he was a kid, but he was also a lot less sensitive than his little brothers growing up. Now that he was in the disciplinarian role, he found a lot of the ways his father handled discipline kind of harsh. He wanted the boys to know he was upset with them, but he didn't want them to feel unloved. So, he let them have some form of physical connection while he spanked them.

Once he was settled and his grip on Darry's leg tightened, he went ahead and began to spank the boxer clad bottom. He didn't hold back, wanting Soda to understand he meant business. He was smacking him harder than he smacked Pony, but he was only getting half the reaction.

He sat still and didn't immediately start begging like their brother did, but he was silently crying and shifting subtly when Darry smacked him near his thighs. It was only about a minute before Darry went ahead and pulled his boxers down to his knees, continuing the spanking on his bare ass.

Darry warmed him up thoroughly, not wanting the hairbrush to hurt him anymore than necessarily before he finally stopped.

"You know I didn't wanna do this, Soda," Darry sighed as he picked up the hairbrush from beside, "I'm upset that I have to. But since I have to, I'm gonna make damn sure you remember this."

The second he felt the hairbrush on his bottom, his crying cranked up and he lost control of his breathing. Darry almost just pushed past it, but he forgot that he wasn't dealing with Ponyboy's usual dramatics - Soda was really hyperventilating.

"Hey," he said, setting the brush back down and reaching down to grab the nape of Soda's neck, giving it a squeeze, "Hey, stop that, Sodapop. It's a spanking, kid. You'll live."

Even as Darry said that, he knew deep down Soda really hated that brush. He'd probably spent all night hyping himself up for it so he once actually felt the brush, he lost his composure. It probably didn't help that Darry had pretty much just promised him a very sore bottom.

Darry had to rub his back and massage the back of his neck for a minute before the kid started breathing correctly again. He was still crying pretty hard, but Darry knew that wasn't going to stop until they were done. The longer he put it off, the higher the chances the kid lost his cool again.

"We've gotta deal with this, Sodapop," Darry told him softly, picking the brush back up slyly, "I know you don't wanna. I don't either, but we are. There's no reason to freak yourself out about it."

"It's gonna hurt," the boy sobbed, head hanging near the floor, "Don't want you to use that, Darry."

"I know you don't," Darry answered sympathetically, "But I am. You've had a whole lot of chances. You knew it was gonna come down to this, eventually."

"I didn't know you still had the brush!" he cried out, and Darry couldn't help but laugh at that.

"So, what? If I would have told you I still had this," he paused, tapping his bottom with the brush again, "You wouldn't have kept on? You do realize that's not helping your case, right?"

Sodapop shrugged, sniffling. Darry figured he didn't know how to answer that without incriminating himself, so he just didn't.

Deciding that stalling was pointless at that point, Darry began swatting with the hairbrush. Sodapop bucked and squealed in surprise, obviously not seeing it coming.

"Darry, noooo!" he cried out, but it fell on deaf ears. The eldest brother refused to be swayed. Even though Sodapop deserved it, Darry knew if he sat and listened to his begging too much then he would falter and go too easy on him.

So, relentlessly, he paddled Soda's butt with the hairbrush. At first, he tried to squirm out of the way, but one warning from Darry was all it took for him to cut it out. He still wasn't completely still, but Darry knew he probably couldn't help that. He just wrapped an arm around his waist and persisted.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Darry asked as he smacked the boy's sit spots over and over again.

"Yessuh!" Sodapop bawled, taking a fistful of Darry's jeans and tugging at them, "Stop it, pleaase, Darry! Please stop!"

"Good. I'm glad it hurts," Darry lied. He really wasn't glad that it hurt - he hated hurting him, but he knew he had to and he had to act tough during this part, "I want you to remember this next time you're getting drunk or not coming home when you're supposed to."

"Okay, I will!" Soda promised, crossing and uncrossing his feet, "I willllll, Dar! Please stop!"

Darry ignored him, just continuing on. He was ready to be finished. This was no fun for Darry, and he was honestly fighting off a lump in his throat as he listened to his brother's babbling and begging. Of course, he wanted to stop, but the thought of Soda not making it home one night kept him going.

"I expect so much better from you, Sodapop," Darry scolded sternly as he continued to rain the hairbrush down, merciless, "I gave you so many chances to just stop. I'm real disappointed in you for making me do this."

Soda was already bawling his eyes out, but that made it worse. "N-No, Dar. Noooo. I'm sorryyyyy," he wailed, heartbreak obvious in his voice. That was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"Yes, Soda, I am," Darry told him as he continued to spank, "When you go out every weekend, I'm terrified you won't come back home, Sodapop. Still, I put my trust in you that you won't make stupid decisions and that you'll be back on time. Does that mean anything to you, Soda? Cause it means a helluva a lot to me that you get home in one piece."

"It doesss!" Sodapop sobbed, obviously struggling to keep still and talk at the same time, "It does, Darry! I'm sorryyy!"

"Act like it then, Sodapop," Darry responded, finally pausing the onslaught on Soda's bottom, "Your curfew is midnight now. Same as Pony. I should've done that when I caught you at the Shepard's, but I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, which won't be happening again anytime soon. You're gonna have to earn my trust back, Soda."

That broke Soda. Darry was a little surprised; he figured the worst thing for him to hear would be the part about him being disappointed. He was wrong.

Soda went completely limp, releasing the grip he had on Darry's leg and pretty much giving up on holding himself up. If it wasn't for the arm Darry had wrapped around him, he probably would have fell onto his head.

He babbled incoherently through the deep, guttural sobs, repeatedly telling his big brother "don't say that!" and that he was really sorry.

Darry's heart broke even more at Soda's distress, but he knew the kid needed to hear it the same way he needed the spanking. Still, he was very thankful they were almost done and

"No, I am gonna say that, Sodapop," Darry responded, gentle but firm, "Because I mean it. Y'know I love you, kid, but I can't trust you if you're just gonna keep deliberately disobeying me because you think you can. You've gotta show me I can trust you to be out 'til 2 or 3 in the morning without doing dumb shit like getting wasted and coming in an hour late. Until then, I'm putting you on Ponyboy's rules, and I expect them to be followed. If you don't, then you're gonna get spanked like Pony does."

Of course, Ponyboy got spanked more often for less serious crimes because it was necessary to keep him behaving. Soda only got it for really serious transgressions, so when Darry said he's putting him on "Ponyboy's rules", Soda knew what that meant. When he just cried harder in response, Darry continued.

"I will not watch you drink your life away, Soda. I know you're not gonna believe this, but you're too smart and you've got too much potential to fall into the same old shit every other kid around here does." Darry scolded in a more gentle tone. "You won't be Steve. You will not be Two Bit. Not in this house. If you wanna keep on like this, then leave. If you wanna get drunk and stay out 'til whenever you want, move in with Steve. It ain't happening here. You understand me?"

Darry loved the hell out of both Steve and Two Bit, but neither of them were on a route he wanted his little brothers to take.

Soda sobbed out multiple 'yessir's'. Darry kind of felt like he didn't even know what he was saying yes to, he just knew it was the right answer. He was pretty much hysterical by then.

Darry couldn't help but set the brush down and rub some of the sting out of his bottom, even though they weren't quite done. He felt badly and he knew Soda had to have been hurting by then. On top of that, he could tell he was really taking in everything Darry was saying. His feelings were probably just as hurt as his ass.

"I need to be able to trust that you'll actually bring your ass home when your supposed to be here, Pepsi Cola," Darry said, moving his hand from Soda's behind to his back, "I worry myself half to death every minute past your curfew that you're not here, thinking the worst when you're really just out doing God knows what instead of coming home. So, I wanna know why, Sodapop. Tell me why you chose to just ignore me for months instead of listening to me. Why'd you push me to this?"

Soda was trying desperately to calm down some, gasping for air as he tried to speak, "I...I dunno, Darry. 'm not gonna do it no more. Honest."

"I think you know, kid," Darry said with a sigh, giving his little brother's back a quick pat before picking the hairbrush back up and letting it hover over the bright red bottom. He could feel the heat radiating off of him, "I think you just kept going because you thought I'd never do anything. You wanted to see how far you could push me. Well, congrats, kiddo. You found out."

Sodapop wailed when Darry started spanking again. He bucked, quickly grabbing Darry's leg again. He still wasn't begging, but it was clear he was having a much harder time sitting still.

"There won't be any more chances after this, Sodapop Patrick," he told him without missing a beat, "You can expect this every single time. You've blown through all your warnings, and I'm done."

"Yessirrr!" he cried out, kicking his feet up to try and cover his bottom, "I'll be goooooddd!"

Darry paused for a second when he almost got kicked, "Feet down, Sodapop. Now, or I'll add some with the belt when we're done."

Soda immediately put his feet back down, not wanting a taste of the belt. Darry was thankful he listened, because he was definitely bluffing. He didn't have the heart to whip him with his belt after he'd already got his butt beaten with the brush.

"I don't want no more, Darry," he sobbed miserably, head hanging, "I get itttt."

"Get what, Sodapop?" Darry asked him, resting the hair brush on his bottom. He wanted to know if the kid actually understood what he was trying to get through to him.

"I get what you're saying!" he whined, wiggling under the pressure of the hairbrush, "About bein' late and drinkin' and everything else! I'll get here on time and 'm done drinkin' all the way and I'm just gonna do better, Dar! I swear it. I promise, I don't need no more, Darry!"

'Okay, good,' Darry thought to himself, 'At least he knows.' After a certain point in the spanking, Pony kinda stopped listening. Not on purpose, he just had a hard time focusing after a while. He'd eventually start saying whatever he thought Darry wanted to hear without actually listening to his scolding. Darry didn't want to have the same problem with Soda.

"And you get that there are no more chances, right? Because I don't want to hear any 'it was an accident!'s when this happens again and I turn you over my knee." Darry continued, tapping his bottom with the brush a little harder than necessary. They were almost done, so he didn't mind being a little tough on the kid. He'd be okay.

"But what if it isssss?" the kid cried out, wriggling on Darry's lap under the weight of the brush.

"Well, I suggest you try very, very hard to avoid any accidents, Sodapop," Darry stated, popping the hairbrush down twice with each emphasized word. "Because unless you've got a damn good excuse, and I mean damn good, Soda, then the rule still stands: if you come in here drunk or late, you're gonna feel this brush. No exceptions, understand me?"

Soda quickly cried out in agreement, now openly squirming and sobbing. He'd been very well behaved for the majority of his punishment, but it was clear that now he was done.

Darry spanked consistently for about thirty more seconds before finishing up with a set of swats to his thighs. He was satisfied that the boy had been properly chastised.

"Alright, kiddo," Darry began quietly, tossing the hairbrush onto the bed, "We're finished, now. Good job. I'm proud of you, honey."

All that made Soda do was cry harder, so Darry began to rub his lower back. Darry was trying to be comforting but his little brother only tensed under his hand.

Sodapop slid off of Darry's lap and down onto his knees after a moment, wrapping his arms around one of Darry's legs. He quickly buried his face into his big brother's jeans and continued to cry his heart out.

Darry wasn't fan of it - he was used to Ponyboy crawling into his lap - but he realized they were different and needed to be handled accordingly. So he rotated between scratching his head and rubbing his back, silently allowing the boy to cry some of it out. After a minute or so of that, he started encouraging him to get up again.

Soda wasn't interested at first, just tightening the grip on Darry's leg and whining out a drawn out 'no' in response. He was still naked from the waist down and Darry knew that his embarrassment about the whole ordeal had a lot to do with why he'd rather cry it out on the floor.

"Come on, Sodapop. Not a question anymore. I want you to get up, now," he coerced, voice firm but gentle, "Let's get your pants on."

They were still folded neatly at the top of the bed where Soda had left him. He'd kicked his underwear off sometime throughout his spanking and Darry wasn't about to get up and look for them, so he figured just his sweats would be fine. Soda would probably be grateful for the lack of pressure on his behind.

Soda wasn't happy when Darry forced him to stand, using his hands to cover his privates and tucking his chin as far against his chest as it would go. His face was beat red and Darry knew it was partly shame, partly embarrassment. It was clear he wanted to hide.

Darry didn't draw it out, not wanting Soda to have to face any more embarrassment then necessary. He helped him step into them before trying to pull him down to sit. Of course, Soda wouldn't allow it.

Darry sighed, tightening his grip on Soda's wrist, "Stop it, Soda. C'mere."

"No, 'm fine," he said, voice thick with tears. He was very clearly not fine, "I'm okay. You can leave. 'm okay."

For a brief second, Darry considered that maybe the kid just needed space. He wasn't Ponyboy, Darry reminded himself. Maybe he'd do better if he could just calm himself down first.

That thought left his mind as quickly as it came. The kid was a fucking mess; he needed a hug. If he still wanted to be left alone after a couple minutes of comfort, then Darry would oblige.

"Not an option," Darry stated sternly, "You can sit down or I can put you back over my knee for a little bit and see if that'll help you listen. Which one?"

Sodapop's modesty must have went out the window at that, because he was no longer trying to stop himself from crying. His face screwed up and ugly sobs began to leave his chest. Darry knew he won.

He didn't fight when his big brother began to pull him towards him again, but he still wouldn't sit on his butt when Darry tried to seat him next to him. He opted for crawling up awkwardly on his knees and leaning into his chest.

Breathing a small laugh at his choice in position, Darry wrapped his arms around him as best as he could and let him cry into his chest.

Darry knew he hadn't hurt him - not really. His bottom was going to be sore for a few days and his feelings were hurt, but he was fine. He needed to hear what Darry told him, and he was being comforted now that it was over. That didn't mean it was any easier to hear Soda sob his heart out like he was.

"I can do better, Dar," he sobbed miserably, tightening his grasp on Darry's shirt, "I'm real sorry, Darry. I can do better."

"I know you can do better, Sodapop," Darry comforted quietly, running a hand up and down the boy's back, "I know you can. That's why I spanked you - because I know you can do better than you have been and I know you will from now on. It's okay, honey. We're done with it."

All that got out of him was more tears and a shake of his head, "Don't wanna have to leave, Darry. I'll do better."

Darry furrowed his eyebrows, quickly pushing Sodapop back. He didn't want to go at first, but once he allowed it, Darry pinched his chin so he had to look at him.

"I will never make you leave, Sodapop Patrick," he told him sternly, "That is not what said. I said you can leave if you don't want to follow my rules. That's it. Even if you don't follow 'em, I'm just gonna keep kicking your ass for it. You know I'd never put you out, Sodapop."

Darry realized that he told Ponyboy that a lot, but never Soda. For the most part, he never felt like Soda needed it since the kid never really expressed any insecurities. So when Darry told him that he could always just leave (and it was pretty often, whether jokingly or not) he never thought to tell him that he didn't want him to.

"You do know that, right, Soda?" he asked as he released the hold on his chin, "I don't know what I'd do without you here, kid, seriously. I'd probably burn the house down or kill your brother. Or both."

That got a small laugh out of Soda, even with his face buried back in Darry's chest. He was starting to calm down some, "I know...I just...I don't wanna leave. I'm gonna do better."

"Good," Darry said softly, kissing his forehead, "I don't wanna keep whooping you. I get enough of that with Pony, yeah? You're supposed to be my easy kid brother."

"Pony's not that bad," Soda defended immediately, wiping his face on Darry's shirt, "He's just a kid."

"I know he's not that bad, Soda," Darry chuckled, "And I know he's just a kid, but so are you."

"I know," Soda sighed, leaning back a little and using a hand to wipe his face, "I'm supposed to know better, though."

Darry sighed, knowing this was a slippery slope. Part of the reason why Soda made sure he was always so 'okay' was because he knew Ponyboy wasn't, and he needed Darry more. It's not that Sodapop wasn't okay, because for the most part he was. But when he had his days where he wasn't, Darry had to pry and pry just to get anything besides an 'I'm fine, Dar. Swear it.' out of the kid.

So, of course, he held himself to higher standards. He was supposed to know better. He couldn't mess up. He had to help out. It wasn't the first time Darry had ran into that problem with him, so he knew how the kid thought.

"Yeah, you are supposed to know better," Darry told him slowly, because he was. The kid was older than Pony and he did expect more out of him, but he never expected perfection. He knew that's what Sodapop expected of himself, though. Darry was starting to wish he was a little more careful with his words when he was scolding his brother.

"You are allowed to fuck up sometimes, too, though. You hear me?" he continued after a minute, pulling Soda back into a hug, "Nobody's perfect. I still fuck up."

Despite himself, Sodapop chuckled, "Nobody kicks your ass for it."

"Nah, I gotta kick my own ass," Darry laughed, squeezing his brother before letting him pull back again, "I don't want you and Pony having to do that. It's a good thing."

He didn't want them drowning themselves in guilt when they messed up. It was easier to talk about it, be punished for it, and then forgiven for it. They didn't really understand that, not completely, but he knew they would one day.

"If you say so," Soda huffed, using his hand to wipe off his face. He was no longer crying, but his voice was still shaky and he was still hiccuping, "I just...I know I'm supposed to be better, y'know? You can't handle me actin' like Pony. You'd go crazy, Superman, and you know it."

"Don't tell me what I can handle, Soda," Darry said gently without missing a beat, "Just...don't. I know what I'm doing. You messing up every now and then isn't gonna break me, Sodapop. I don't want you ever thinking that, okay? I don't expect perfection out of you."

"I know that," he said quietly, finally turning so he could sit down properly. He grimaced and squirmed, but stayed put, "But I can try? I just...don't wanna cause any more trouble then I'm worth."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Darry asked him, cocking an eyebrow. That comment alone pissed him off more than the reason he'd just spanked him did. He absolutely hated the way Sodapop saw himself, he was about ready to whip some self worth to the kid.

When all the kid did was shrug, Darry made a decision. Before Soda could stop him, he grabbed him by his elbow and tugged him back over his knee.

This time around, Soda was definitely not being obedient. He immediately bucked and started kicking, "No! No, Darry! Noooo!" he shrieked, desperately kicking and trying to stand up.

It only took Darry a moment to get his pants down subdue him, pushing his forearm into his lower back and trapping both of Soda's legs with one of his. He wasn't used to this kind of struggle from Soda, but he knew he was sore, scared, and confused so he didn't snap at him for it. Once he realized he couldn't move anymore, he wailed, "You said we were done!"

"We were until you said what you just said, then I realized there's something else we need to talk about," he told his brother, who was still struggling, just not as hard, "Stop that, now, Sodapop, or else."

Sodapop clearly wasn't trying to find out what or else meant, because he immediately stopped fighting. He did, however, start sobbing again.

"Tell me what you meant by that, Sodapop."

"I dunno!" Soda cried out, letting his head hang, "I just...I dunno, Darry! Please lemme up!"

"You listen to me, Sodapop Patrick," Darry ordered, swatting him with his hand a few times, "I am sick and tired of you talking about yourself like that. I'm over it. I don't give a damn if I had to whip your ass five times a day seven days a week, you would still not be more trouble than your worth."

Sodapop bawled at the swats he was given, snaking a hand back to try and protect his bottom. He didn't respond.

"What is it, kid?" Darry asked, exasperated, "Why the hell do you feel like that? Is it something I'm doin'? Cause I never, ever, mean to make you think like that."

"Nooo," he cried out, shaking his head, "It's not you, Dar! I told you I dunno! Pleaaase, no more!"

"Well, it's something, Sodapop," Darry stated. He moved Soda's hand from his butt to the small of his back, pressing it there, but he didn't swat him anymore, "Pony's in trouble all the damn time. Is he more trouble than he's worth?"

"No," Soda retorted, sounding offended that Darry would even imply that, "'Course not."

"Then what's different with you?" Darry pressed, squeezing his little brother's hand, "Huh? Why can't you get in trouble all the time without being more trouble than your worth?"

Soda didn't respond, just crying harder instead.

"You're not getting up until we've talked about this, kiddo, so you might as well give it up," Darry told him, squirming a little to make it seem as if he was getting comfortable, "I've got all day."

He definitely did not have all day, and he knew it, too. He had a feeling if there was anyway Pony had slept through the original punishment, that was over with when he put Soda back over his lap and he wailed like he'd been shot. Nevertheless, he needed to focus on Sodapop for once. He needed to make him the number one priority this time. As much as it bothered him, Pony had to wait.

There was a few minutes of just Soda's crying before he realized Darry really wasn't going ti let it go. So, he cried out, "Pony's smart!"

Darry landed a swat at that, "Pony's smart? So he's worth more than you? That's what you're saying?"

That wasn't the first time Darry had heard that logic from the kid, so he wasn't surprised.

"He's gonna finish school," Soda sobbed, and Darry could hear the sadness in his voice, "And he can get us outta here, Dar. I can't do that. I'm dumb."

"Soda, I swear to God if I hear that outta you one more time..." he responded with an exasperated sigh. He should have known that's where this was going to end, "You are _not_ dumb. You're not as book smart as Ponyboy, fine. Neither am I. Neither is half the world. _Oh_. _Fucking. Well._"

He paused to emphasize those words with swats before continuing, "And I know you don't wanna hear this, but guess what? The only reason you didn't finish school is because you stopped trying. I regret letting you drop out everyday, but I didn't know what the hell I was doing then. You're a helluva lot smarter than you think you are. You've just got yourself so convinced that you're not."

"I'm dumb," Sodapop sobbed out, trying to pull his hand out of his brother's grip. He clearly didn't like what he had to say and it was visibly upsetting him, "I am. I am. I am!"

"You're not," Darry cut him off softly, tightening his grip on his hand, "You could take the truck apart and put it back together on your own. You know how every part of an engine works like the back of your hand. When I teach you something about tools or rooves or cars or anything of the sort, I _never _have to repeat myself. It just sticks. That sound dumb to you?"

"That's different," he whispered in response. Darry was expecting him to expand, but he didn't. Instead, he jusy wrapped his arm around Darry's leg and tried to stick his face in it. It was awkward and Darry knew there was no way it was comfortable, but he managed.

"No, it's not, kiddo," Darry answered, swatting lightly, "And you know it. You and Pony are both smart as hell - just in different ways, that's all. And even if you were as dumb as you think you are, you'd still be just as important as him. Just as 'worth it.' Unless you want me to pick the brush back up, I suggest you don't let me hear otherwise. Understood?"

Sodapop's cries were heartbroken, and Darry didn't quite get it. He'd barely touched him since he put him back over his knee, so it wasn't because he was getting spanked. He did, however, have to take in a lot that morning and his emotions were probably all over the place by then. Once he finally cried out his assent, Darry decided that was enough. They'd talk about it again when he had the chance, but he deserved some comfort for the time being.

"Okay, come on up, little buddy," he coached after he tugged his sweats back up, "Let's go. We're done, now. Come on."

Soda allowed himself to be stood up this time before shamelessly sitting on Darry's lap. He quickly made himself fit, wrapping his arms around his big brother's neck and sticking his face in his shoulder.

Darry couldn't help but chuckle - it was an awkward position. He was taller and lankier than Ponyboy was, and he weighed more, too, but that didn't mean Darry was about to deny him the same comfort. So, he wrapped his arms around his baby brother and adjusted him a little so there wasn't much pressure on his behind. Once they were both more comfortable, he kissed the side of his head.

"I mean what I said, Sodapop," he told him gently over his cries, "I love you. Just like I love Ponyboy. I'd lose my head if I lost either one of you, you understand me? You gotta stop feeling like your less than, because you're not."

"Okay," Sodapop answered tearfully against his shoulder, "Love you, too."

Of course, Darry knew it wasn't going to be that easy. Soda would probably go back to his self deprecating thoughts by lunchtime. For now, though, Darry knew he'd done all he could. At least he knew he loved him.

"I'm real sorry, Dar," he said through his tears, voice hoarse, "About what I been doin'. You were right, I guess. I just...didn't think you'd do nothin'. 'm sorry."

Darry was almost thrilled to hear him finally admit that, but he didn't show it, "I forgive you, buddy. It's okay. We're done with it, now. Just remember what I said if it happens again."

Sodapop nodded a little before pressing his face even further into Darry. He said something, but Darry couldn't make it out.

"What was that, kid?" he asked, making him sit back a little. The sight of him broke Darry's heart. His eyes were as swollen as he'd ever seen them, his face was beat red, and he just looked so, so sad. Darry couldn't help but pull him back into the hug before he answered. He'd spanked the kid before, yeah, but he was definitely taking this one the hardest.

"I want you to trust me," he whispered sadly, laying his head against Darry's shoulder, "I don't...You gotta, Dar. You can trust me."

Darry squeezed him at that, heart breaking even more at his tone. He knew that part really hurt the kid's feelings, but he didn't know that he would still be dwelling on it. Guilt crept up on him slowly and as usual, he was really wishing he didn't have to be the one to do this.

"I can't trust you to bring your butt home when your supposed to or control how much you drink," he started, matching his little brother's tone, "You're gonna have to show me you can do that again. That doesn't mean I can't trust you with anything, ever. That's not what I meant. I probably shoulda been a little more specific about that."

Darry felt him relax a little at that, so he continued with something else he was sure he needed to hear, "Just like how I said I was disappointed in you; That means I'm disappointed in the choices you kept making. It don't mean that you're a disappointment. Understand me?"

"Yeah, Dar," he breathed softly, finally starting to relax after spending so long crying, "I understand. I'm gonna do better."

"I know," Darry kissed his head again, "I believe ya. You gotta clean slate, now."

Sodapop nodded, bringing a hand up to scrub at his face while grumbling, "I'm sorry I'm bein' such a bawl baby."

"You're okay, kiddo," Darry chuckled fondly, "You're supposed to cry. I think you needed to get some of that out of your system, anyway."

Darry watched in amusement as his little brother's face flushed from embarrassment. Any implication that Soda wasn't perfectly fine left him feeling ashamed for whatever reason.

"Pony's probably up, now," Soda mumbled, ready to change the subject, "You should check on him."

"In a minute," Darry knew if Soda really was ready to get up, he would have made a move to do so, "I wanna make sure you're gonna be okay."

Soda mustered up a small smile, smacking a hand lazily against Darry's chest, "I'm fine, Superman. Really."

It wasn't very believable, and the look Darry gave him reflected that, "Don't lie to me, kid."

"Fine," Sodapop sighed, face falling as he gave Darry an annoyed look, "My butt hurts, 'm tired, and I just feel kinda...bad, okay? But there's no way he's still asleep, Dar. You gotta check on him."

As much as he hated to admit it, Soda was kind of right. He knew he was probably up by then, and he knew his reaction to this wasn't going to be pleasant. The longer he drew it out, the worse it would likely be.

"I swear I'm okay, Darry," Soda told him, finally sitting up a little, "I don't need babied for hours like Ponybaby does. Just wanna get some sleep, now."

"You're gonna eat first," Darry responded quietly. He still wasn't completely convinced, but he couldn't force Soda to stay put if he didn't want to. So he hugged him one last time before allowing him to stand, "I love you, kid. Y'know that, right?"

"Course," he responded gruffly, sounding offended, "Love you, too, Superman. C'mon."

Darry sighed, allowing him to stand up from his lap. The kid streched, making an unnatural noice before looking down and giving Darry a sloppy grin. This time, it was more believable, despite the fact that he still looked like hell.

Darry smiled back with a shake of his head, "You're a mess, kid."

Soda just shrugged, still smiling, "So."

"Yeah. So." Darry laughed as he forced himself to stand, "Let's go make sure your brother hasn't run away, yet."

"Knowing Pony, he definitely has," Sodapop joked with a grin, but Darry noticed he snaked a hand back to rub at his bottom. It made him feel bad, but he knew being sore for a couple of days was apart of him learning his lesson.

"I suppose I gotta deal with that," Darry said, smacking a hand against Soda's back as they walked out of the room, "Track the kid down, or something."

"I'll help," Sodapop chuckled as they walked up the hallway, "Right after I take a nap."

Once they stepped into the living room, Darry realized they probably shouldn't have been joking about it; Ponyboy was _actually _gone.

_"Oh great," _Darry thought to himself, "_Just fucking great." _


End file.
